Communication without Words

Psychologists claim that more than half of the impact you make on others is communicated without actual words. With deadlines, meetings, emails and everything else that goes on in our marketing world, we’re under stress. And it can surely show in how people approach us and how we approach them. We can’t hope to understand the thousands of gestures someone can make to display their feelings, but there are a few areas we can recognize that will help make a difference in our communication process. Here are a few tips suggested by Janine Driver, author of You Say More than You think: a 7-Day Plan for Using the New Body Language to Get What you Want.

1. Recognize and Use Body Language

A nonverbal signal in and of itself is not a complete message. In “reading” others, you should look for groups of signals that all have the same meaning. Does the language match what the person is saying? Does it match the context of the situation?

As for your own signals, often it’s not what you say that influences others, it is what you do not say. The signals you send nonverbally suggest attitude, understanding, empathy and ethics.

2. Making a Good First Impression

A good first impression can go a long way. You can do this without saying a word. We can easily show feelings of boredom, nervousness, dishonesty or other negatives. So before shaking someone’s hand, be mindful of what you’ll be saying. Some of the first words you speak should include some form of thanks, if appropriate. For example, “Yvonne, thanks for setting up this meeting”; “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Peter.”

With respect to eye contact, your aim should be to stay with a calm, steady and nonthreatening gaze. Looking at someone means showing interest in that person – a giant step forward in making the right first impression.

On greeting someone, give a friendly “eyebrow flash” – that brief, slight raising of the brows that calls attention, encourages eye contact and (when accompanied by a smile) sends the positive signal that the conversation has gotten off to good start. With your shoulders relaxed, remember to raise your head as you listen to your conversational counterpart. This indicates your interest in what he or she is saying.

3. Your Handshake

Adopt a handshake that is firm, but not crushing (an open hand with your palm up suggests honesty and sincerity). Convey confidence and professionalism, not dominance. If you initiate the handshake, you may be sending a message that you want to control the conversation – which may be appropriate. Always be sure to smile confidently and make strong eye contact.

4. Project Confidently

It’s always important that you speak to communicate with others, not to impress. Pause before speaking, and speak clearly in a controlled range of tones avoiding a monotone. Notice your tone and inflection – make sure they are upbeat and positive. And keep your hands away from your mouth as you speak.

Good luck with your next meeting. Let us know how it works out.